Freedom in Love and Happiness.

Today was my 18th birthday. It didn't start off exactly as I hoped but it didn't end how I had thought it would either. I woke up around five this morning throwing up. I'm not sure if it was my nerves getting the best of me or just some kind of stomach bug, but it wasn't how I had hoped to start my day. In spite of that I got dressed and ready for my doctors appointment. Before I left, my little brothers each gave me a hug and gave me each a present. Max, the littlest guy, gave me a stuffed animal puppy to cuddle in times I need comfort, and a little rubber squishy that I can squeeze in times of frustration.

Hinck, my other little brother, gave me this necklace in the picture above. It has lucky charms on it (i.e. a mini four leaf clover, heart, key, crystal and horse shoe.) to wear for good luck because hey, we all can use a bit of luck, right?

With a coke in hand to help my stomach and the images from my ultra sound, my parents and I left for the docs. We ended up being late to the appointment because I couldn't stop throwing up. Because we were late, the Dr. wouldn't see us and rescheduled me for the next available appointment she had for Wednesday morning. The frustration of not being able to get into the Dr. and know that this would set back my surgery to at least another week was something I at first was having a really hard time with. On the way home my parents and I discussed our options. I could either wait until Wednesday to get into the Doctor, or an alternative had come up that we could go out to Missouri. A friend of my Dad is an OBGYN in Missouri and has been working with me since the start of this. She offered for us to come out to Missouri and get me in as soon as tomorrow for biopsies and possibly into surgery as early as Wednesday. We decided to all think it through for a bit and than decide whether we would go to Missouri or stay and just wait it out. By this point I was frustrated and so emotionally, mentally and physically tired. All I wanted to do was sleep.

When i came home, I came home to the best surprise that turned my whole entire day around.

One of my best friends Mary (and her Mom) had come and decorated my house and bedroom with streamers, balloons, signs, a card and gift.

(Not to mention they made my bed, too.)

The present she had left me was a fuzzy pair of slippers and bath robe, a card, a picture of us and a lot of chap stick. (If you know me well, you know chap stick is always a must have for me. Always.) On the back of the picture she had written,

'Always Be Happy'

Those three simple words changed my whole day, and my whole perspective. Always. Be. Happy. I know just like everyone else, I have my good days and bad ahead of me but no matter what, I've promised myself that from now on in my heart; I will Always Be Happy. So for the rest of the day, that's exactly what I was, happy.

Through out the remainder of the day I was so overwhelmed by the love and comfort I felt as people have reached out to me via emails, text messages, wall posts/messages on my facebook, flowers, cards, phone calls and people stopping by my house. People mentioning their struggles they've been through too and how they've over come them. People offering their support and love and people telling me that they have me in their thoughts and prayers and wishing me a happy birthday. I feel so blessed and so thankful for each and every person (whether they're close to me or just know my name,) that have reached out to me and my family. I love you all and am so thankful for your kind hearts and selflessness. I am so thankful that my Savior has placed such amazing people in my life that I love and that love me and my family and I can lean on for support.

 My parents and I decided to go with our first option and stay here and wait for my Wednesday appointment. I'm actualy really grateful to be at home in my own bed tonight and not in a hotel room in Missouri, just because there is nothing like the comfort of your own room. I spent the rest of the day spending time with my family.. and sleeping.. and spending time with my family.. and sleeping. :)  Though things have been set back a little for me now medically, I trust that everything is falling into place the way that it is supposed to, whether it's what I'm most comfortable with or not. I think God knows our needs better than we do ourselves sometimes. He has a better plan for us than we can make for ourselves. Even though my 18th birthday didn't turn out how I had hoped it would, it didn't turn out how i feared it would either. It turned out exactly how it should; how I needed it to.

Today, I find freedom in friendship and love.
Today, I find freedom in celebration of life and what it brings us. 
Today, I find freedom in Always. Being. Happy.